Meet JoAnn! Playful and tireless in her journey to be an example of character to her children. From “Mommy Camp,” to championing The Lunchmakers, to leading her school’s efforts in the Asian and Pacific Islander Parent Affinity Group, her dedication to learning and growing with her kids is inspiring. But what really struck us was the many small, meaningful ways in which her family celebrates their togetherness, and how endearing it is to sweat the small (and big) stuff. On listening to her internal voice and getting comfortable with the unknown, JoAnn’s honesty reminded us that you can never say it enough: Stay present. It goes by fast.

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On Parenting in General

What do you love most about parenting?

• I love learning with my kids. My best days are when I experience new things with my children. Whether it’s reading a good book, visiting a new place, or trying to acquire a new skill, it’s most rewarding and memorable when we’re learning together. I adore hearing my kids’ observations, opinions, and perspectives.

Biggest parenting challenge right now:

• My constant personal parenting battle is trying to stay off the emotional roller coaster when my kids are having a tough time.
  • It’s hard not to get frustrated or hop on the emotional roller coaster when my kids bicker, disagree, or are having an emotional moment. The best advice that my husband and I learned from our school counselor is that we don’t have to get on that roller coaster. Our job is to stay on the platform!
• I’m also someone who sweats the small stuff. On the plus side, it means I’m detail oriented…on the negative side, sometimes I lose sight of the bigger picture.

On Your Passions

You’re co-leading your school’s first Asian and Pacific Islander (API) Parent Affinity Group. What are some of your hopes and wishes in catalyzing this group?

• Growing up, I have distinct memories of drawing my portrait with blonde hair and blue eyes, just wishing I looked more like my peers. I can remember instances when classmates pulled the corners of their eyes to mimic my eye shape. Another time, I approached a neighbor’s backyard and he yelled that he was going to kill me because I was a “Jap.”
• I really want my kids to have a different experience. So through our API group and our school’s efforts, I hope for my kids to be comfortable in their own skin, to make authentic connections with families who value that all skin colors are beautiful, and for my kids to see me modeling that same compassion and upstanding that I ask of them.

You lead the South Marin Chapter of The Lunchmakers. How does it feed your soul and your community?

• My nephew, Crosby, actually co-founded The Lunchmakers with his two friends, Kaely and Aaron (when they were in fifth grade!). I’m so proud of them – it’s really testimony to how capable and competent children are.
  • The Lunchmakers not only supports unhoused or food insecure community members, it also offers an opportunity for children to authentically participate in acts of engagement and gain new perspective on how it might feel to be food insecure.
• For me, it’s the hands-on volunteer aspect and getting to know the hard working, dedicated staff at the Ritter Center, which our chapter supports, that’s been most powerful. I feel so hopeful when I think about the enthusiasm in just our first year.
  • For example, in the middle of a turkey shortage, our chapter rallied to donate 56+ turkeys in less than a month. By the end of this school year, our chapter will have made almost 2,000 lunches. That human connection to make this all possible has been a source of hope.
• If you’re interested in learning more about The Lunchmakers or creating your own chapter, please reach out to thelunchmakerssf@gmail.com.

On Parenting in a Pandemic

3 things you’ve learned about your children and your family during this pandemic:

• Nature is healing. It became cathartic to go on family hikes and we did things we wouldn’t have tried, like beekeeping (!!). My husband even built monkey bars out of plumbing pipes, since playgrounds were off limits for a while. We learned that a change of scenery (i.e., play outside!) works wonders when we’re in a funk.
• Quality time with loved ones is precious. When your family is scattered across the country or world in the middle of a global pandemic, you quickly realize how much you took travel for granted.
• In-person interactions are essential. Online meetings or classes – while sometimes convenient – simply do not replace face to face interactions. Humans require personal communication to feel connected and invested.

Pandemic learnings – daily habits or routines you’re going to:

• Keep: Having my kids do chores / tasks around the house has been the easiest way to instill community-mindedness. Kids learn the necessary skills for independence when they learn how a household runs.
  • When we were doing 100% of the cooking, cleaning, working, learning, playing and living at home, it became even more important for the entire family to do their part. It’s a lesson we work hard to remember.
• Miss: Carefree living. Remember when you would go to a restaurant or a grocery store without a second thought about catching a cold or virus?! I can barely remember. And travel! I can hardly wait to start adventuring again with my crew.
• Let go of: Overscheduling my kids, particularly over the summer. Pre-pandemic, I would plan camps almost every week of the summer. When the frenzy would begin as early as January, my stress level would rise in the quest to fill their schedules with novel summer camps.
  • Now, we love our summer adventures together. If I want my kids to have a mountain biking experience, we do it together instead of via a camp. “Mommy camp” (as we call it) is more fun because we’re on adventures together!

On Your Family

Describe a favorite family tradition:

• New Year’s Eve: Throughout every year, we write favorite memories on scraps of paper and store them in a container. On December 31st, we pull them out and read them aloud to reflect on our adventures together. New Year’s Eve was always a let down for me so this is my new favorite way to celebrate!
• Christmas Day: I also love skiing together on Christmas. Growing up, my family would frequently ski together on Christmas (we would drive 10 hours from New Jersey to Maine on Christmas eve and ski on Christmas day) and I’m so happy to carry that tradition forward with my family. This past year, my family had skiers from ages 4 to 77 altogether on Christmas Day!
• Traveling: I also truly love traveling with my family. A day filled with adventure is my favorite kind of day!
  • Don’t underestimate how capable or flexible kids are. Young kids can walk all day in a city when there is a lot to see (an ice cream break also helps!). I love seeing the world through my kids’ eyes.

On Your Wisdom

What’s something from your childhood that is true to this day for your children? What’s something that’s different?

• Growing up as a child of immigrants, my focus was always on earning the best grades and striving for a diverse array of extracurricular activities to bolster my college application. Everything I did was in the quest to succeed academically and to bring pride to my family by becoming a lawyer or a doctor. I never listened to my own internal voice – to pursue my natural interests or passions. Therefore, I was a somewhat robotic learner who memorized solely to ace the test…I would promptly forget the material by the following week. Once I got to college, I felt like I had to do a lot of soul searching to figure out what it was that I should do next. I hold no ill will towards my parents because they simply wished for my life to be stable, well-planned, and easy.
• My hope is for my children to truly love learning and to have the freedom to pursue their own interests. I hope my children stay curious and find intrinsic motivation to do what brings them fulfillment.

Words you’d like to share with your children’s teachers:

• Every time I interact with my kids’ incredible teachers, I just want to show them the immense gratitude I feel in my heart for all of their work to guide and nurture my children.
• We feel fortunate that teachers take the time, energy, and care to get to know our children deeply and think of ways to inspire their personal growth.

*Plinkit is proud to share these parent profiles as they authentically represent the diverse voices of our Plinkit readership. The views and opinions expressed in these parent profiles are those of the authors and may not necessarily reflect those of Plinkit Pte. Ltd.