Meet Jessie! A change agent and a warrior – mother to civic-minded children and partner to a frontline health worker. She redefines community engagement for her family and her joy for life’s small and fleeting moments made us more reflective in our own lives. We loved learning how she authentically empowers her children to have such a strong sense of self. Oh, and cinnamon buns as a family tradition?! Huge smiles all-around.

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On Parenting

What’s something that worries you about raising children these days?

• I put a lot of time and thought into what I can do to raise my children so they grow into compassionate, happy and civic-minded adults, yet I worry that my actions and words are not enough. I identify as biracial and am disheartened about the divisive tone in the U.S. and how little progress we’ve made. I was raised by my African-American mother, and my maternal grandparents played a significant role in my upbringing because my father passed away when I was a toddler. I have lived in predominantly white communities for most of my life. Throughout my childhood, I struggled with my own racial identity. I am very aware of the privileges I have because of my fair skin, and all the sacrifices my mom and grandparents made for me.

3 things you’re doing to teach your children to be proud of their identity:

• Cultivate a connection between my family’s history and my children – My grandmother, GG (my children’s great grandmother) is our family matriarch and her presence is powerful. She has been my rock, and it’s been important for me to cultivate a special connection between her and my children despite our physical distance. We cook dishes from GG’s recipes, talk on the phone weekly, send pictures and letters, and make regular trips to where she grew up. I am especially grateful that we spent her 96th birthday with her earlier this year. Looking back now, something as simple as watching GG teach my children to crochet was very special.
• Encourage difficult conversations and create a space for children to ask questions about what they observe at school and in their community – We read Something Happened in Our Town, which jump-started a meaningful conversation about racism in our county. Recently, my son went through his own process for a Black Lives Matter march – from planning to go to a community march, to changing his mind and openly expressing his fears, to creating his own march and inviting his friends. All the while, we made made sure he had a safe space at home for ongoing conversations and evolving feelings. We followed his lead…his handmade signs, his ideas for the route…and we were shocked and so proud of the outpouring of community support. Over 200 people strong – organized by a 7.5 year old!
• Bolster efforts to support racial literacy – I have spent a lot of time building a home library that exposes my children to characters of many different skin colors, races and cultures doing everyday activities.

5 surprising things about parenting:

• On school: I am a big believer in community and finding a school where your child feels known, accepted and safe – where children are encouraged to play and where children are taught what it means to be part of a community. However, I also realize a lot of learning happens beyond the traditional classroom. So much of a child’s foundational learning happens on the yard during recess and lunch time – it happens through socialization. This is when we see the benefits of being exposed to a variety of settings and situations and interacting with a diversity of people really come into play.
  • I believe in talking to children about community engagement, about explaining the injustices and inequities in our local and global communities and empowering children to help their community. Expanding our notion of ‘classrooms’ helps our children to grow into more empathetic, resilient and well-rounded adults.
• On your children’s learning: I think the best learning – and definitely the most fun – comes from getting messy and spending time in nature. I’m happy to clean-up messes and messy kids from experiences that foster experiential learning and opportunities to learn from mistakes.
• On toys: Less is more. My son feels like he’s won the lottery if a big cardboard box and a roll of duct tape finds its way to our basement. I marvel at the power of his imagination and these minimal supplies lead to so many playful adventures.
• On food: My personal mantra is “Feed the body, feed the soul,” so I do my best to create healthy and well-balanced meals. I love spending time with my children in the kitchen. We got really creative with our dinners during shelter-in-place. But I’ve also realized that what my children crave most is quality time together, so quick and easy dinners are key during the regular school/work week. Easy-to-prep meals mean we have more time to spend together around the table or playing.
• On childcare: Follow your gut and do what feels right for you and your family. Whether it’s a babysitter, relative, or family friend, a child learns so much from having other adults in their life, and you will be a better parent if you carve out some time for yourself.

What do you wish you would do more / less of as a parent?

• More: We’ve had the privilege of spending a lot of time outdoors in the last couple of months and I’ve been able to witness how much my children come alive in nature  and learn from their surroundings. I want to continue to create space for nature to be my children’s teacher and not fill our time with an excess of extracurricular activities.
• Less: Worrying. I am a worrier and the uncertainty surrounding Covid-19 and the challenge of having a partner who is a healthcare worker on the frontline has been a lot all at once. I want my children to feel safe and to know that their mama has their back, but I also want them to take risks and experience joy.

How do you get your child to do something they don’t want to do?

• If it’s helping out around the house and/or preparing a meal, I remind the kids that as members of our family, we all need to help with chores. These are just things we do as part of a community. My husband and I try to model this by setting aside time for family cleaning and yard work. At times, we have also used incentive charts if it’s a behavior or skill that needs to be more consistently developed or practiced.

On Your Family

Describe a favorite family tradition.

• We have a favorite tradition of making homemade cinnamon rolls together on birthdays and special holidays. Creating a dish together and then sitting down as a family to enjoy the treat is just so special.
• We have recently become a family of bike riders and having something that is easy for all of us to access, but has the potential to challenge us physically has been really fun. It’s quality time together that I value more than anything.

What is your children’s favorite toys these days?

• Both of my kids are really into LEGO and I’m amazed by the complexity of the ships, houses, etc. that they build. I just love listening in on their interactions as they play with their creations. Their imaginations! So big, so bold. I hope they hold onto them for a long time.

What was one of your favorite toys as a child?

• I loved Cabbage Patch Kids, and I think at one point I had five! I loved imaginative play – playing house and taking care of my ‘children’.

What are your children’s 3 favorite books?

• Both my kids love listening to books on tape. My son loves the Magic Tree House, The Boxcar Children, and Dav Pilkey’s Dragon series. We recently plowed through all the Tumtum and Nutmeg books, too. My daughter is also a big Fancy Nancy fan. We love reading together; it provides great opportunities to ask questions about the books we read.

What do you love most about parenting?

• The indescribable love that I feel for my kids and how much I have grown and learned from their sense of wonder and resiliency.

Words you’d like to share with your child’s teacher:

• I am in awe of how my son’s teachers, with very little preparation, transitioned to online learning. We asked so much of our teachers this past spring and the time, thought and love they selflessly gave meant a lot. It’s the little things that teachers do in the classroom or say in passing that have the biggest impact.

*Plinkit is proud to share these parent profiles as they authentically represent the diverse voices of our Plinkit readership. The views and opinions expressed in these parent profiles are those of the authors and may not necessarily reflect those of Plinkit Pte. Ltd.