Meet Angela! She is that bright ray of sunshine, fun and confidence in a room (also captured in all the books her publishing company puts their magic on – The Collective Book Studio). But what we love and respect most is how this hardworking entrepreneur candidly opens up about parenthood – its unparalleled joys mixed with its many bumps. No sugar coating. With each paragraph we thought, “I totally get that!” From short fuses, to worrying that we’re transferring our own faults to our kids, to binge-eating pretzels, this charismatic and thoughtfully self-aware Mama beautifully normalizes the tumultuous journey of parenting during a pandemic.
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On Parenting
3 things you’ve learned about your children and your family during this pandemic:
- We’re far from perfect when it comes to handling stress or feeling overwhelmed. Each and every one of us, kids and parents, have been experiencing a heightened level of stress when it comes to school, work and family life.
- We enjoy the newfound time together. A walk, a game or puzzle. Making cookies. It is our love for each other that helps get us through.
- Each of my children have different emotional needs. I’ve learned my middle child is the most like me in terms of needing people and social interaction; it’s how we extroverts learn in this world. Focusing on her mental health and education has been a big priority.
Biggest parenting challenge right now:
- Time management. Balancing my work needs (clients, employees, meetings, etc.) and my children’s needs, especially with hybrid school/distance learning (making sure they’re staying on task, showing up for online school, getting what they need from me, etc.). It’s A LOT!
- Having less community support – i.e., no scheduled playdates for the kids so families can’t lean on each other for help, no social gatherings for parents so less connection and outlets to talk and vent. I believe it’s critically important to adhere to our public health guidelines so we can begin to open up and rely on our communities again. Parents need their village!
What is a recent event that you wish you could do-over again with your children?
- I’ve noticed that my fuse is so short since we spend so much time together. For example, my 9-year old daughter forgot to go to an online class the other day and I lost my temper. I couldn’t tell who I was madder at – myself for not having a timer and leaving my desk to help her get set up online, or at her for not taking the responsibility of managing her time. I wish I would’ve taken a deep breath and asked her to write out ideas of what we both need to work on together and put tools in place to avoid that mishap again.
5 surprising things about parenting:
- On your children’s learning: Each child learns differently. What works for my eldest does not work for my middle child. I knew this on some level before the pandemic, but now with distance learning, it is much more apparent. For all of my children, the importance (and necessity) of social interaction with their peers has been really evident.
- On school: School during a pandemic is hard. Really hard. It’s challenging to support my girls with their learning right now as it is not something I am necessarily skilled at nor trained for. For a non-educator parent, nothing could’ve prepared me for what I needed to do at the end of last year and for all of this school year. (But thank you, Plinkit! Plinkit has been a tremendous resource with their educator lens on what my kids needed for at-home learning and what I needed for my own work-life).
- On toys: My kids want stuff! They like all kinds of toys, so it is my role to limit expectations and moderate the amount of toys in the house.
- On food: This is probably an area of weakness for me! I love to cook. That said, during the pandemic I have not really been emphasizing great eating habits. We probably have all been binge-eating on popcorn, pretzels and ice cream.
- My most important rule is to make sure we are not using food to soothe our feelings. And I am not perfect at this, but working hard on it. I don’t want my girls to feel guilty for eating a certain food, but I think it’s important to stop and be mindful. Are we really hungry? Or are we simply stressed? If so, we should talk about how we feel, go on walks or drink lots of flavored mineral water instead.
- Every night we sit down at the dinner table and go around discussing one thing that was good about our day, one thing that was disappointing and one thing we are looking forward to. We love this daily rose, thorn and bud practice; it helps re-center us and reminds us to practice gratitude.
- On childcare: Everyone needs a break! More than ever, everyone needs their own personal space. No matter where you work or how you work, if you are a parent you are working, so if you can figure out how to get some form of childcare, do it!
What do you wish you would do more/less of as a parent?
- More: More time to focus on each of my kids’ academics. It has gotten a lot harder during the pandemic to focus on each child’s school work. Even grocery shopping has gotten more complicated. There’s just so much juggling of so many priorities.
- Less: Get angry. Working on identifying and regulating my own emotions because I know it’s important to model this for my children.
What is something that worries you about raising your children?
- I worry that my daughters will develop some of my own faults. I sometimes panic or get nervous when it might not be necessary, and they pick up on that. I’m working through this with exercise and acupuncture, and I make sure to identify what the feelings are out loud, saying, “I’m feeling anxious right now. I think I need to go for a walk or take a deep breath.” I know that modeling those coping strategies is really important.
What do you love most about parenting?
- I love being a mother of daughters. As I raise them, I’m a constant witness to their curiosity and creativity – I love how they light up when they have drawn a flower or a fairy house. I love reading to my kids, going on hikes, listening to music. I love dancing with them. They are just so fun. No one makes me laugh more than they do.
- My daughters also make me a better person and a better business owner. They teach me how to listen and multi-task, and that I am far from perfect. They’ve taught me compassion, which I then try to have for myself, my team and the greater world.
On Family
Describe a favorite family ritual or tradition.
- We celebrate Shabbat every Friday night – a lovely way to make sure we are meaningfully together once a week. We take a moment to sing, light candles and eat challah. I am really grateful for this tradition. These days, keeping traditions alive and thriving have provided a warm sense of normalcy and security.
What are your children’s favorite books?
- We all love Mo Willems and everything he writes.
- 4-year old: 5 Little Monkeys Jumping on a Bed.
- 9-year old: *Loves* Dog Man – the silly humor cracks her up.
- 12-year old: She’s nostalgic for her Diary of a Wimpy Kid days and is enjoying the Magisterium series.
On Work
What would you tell employers about what working parents need right now?
- Working parents need patience and the benefit of the doubt. A good employer must give flexibility in a work environment right now. A good employer recognizes that in this moment, we’re all managing a life experience.
How has the combination of juggling working-from-home, the pandemic and distance learning all at the same time changed your outlook on raising children?
- I am an optimistic person. This pandemic is incredibly stressful, but I’m proud of the choices I’ve made as a parent and as an entrepreneur.
- Over two years ago, I set out to start my own publishing company, well-aware of the importance of intentionally integrating time management and flexibility into the day. It has become more challenging, but my outlook on raising my daughters continues to be joyful.
- I actually think my outlook has changed for the better. I see the compassion and the need for change through my girls’ eyes.
- Together, we talk about current events and historic moments. Black Lives Matter protests are held right in front of our home here in Oakland, and we’re able to sit on our lawn, make signs and be part of the change together. My daughters talk about environmental justice and racial justice; they discuss LGBTQ+ issues and what it is like to be Jewish girls in Oakland, CA. They are pretty amazing little people (yes, I am biased!), so my outlook is hopeful with them as our future.
On Your Wisdom
What’s something from your childhood that is true to this day for your children? What’s different?
- Same: Actively showing empathy and taking action in causes you believe in. My parents instilled that in me and that is still true to this day for my kids.
- Different: I think the biggest difference now is my girls are seeing women take a role in politics. Vice-President Kamala Harris is from Oakland, just like they are. My kids are seeing their mother run a company. Their perception of and ability to speak about gender and identity is different, and I am excited to see how we will learn from them.
Words you’d like to share with your child’s teachers:
- Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Words aren’t quite enough. They have put beaming smiles on my children’s faces and have helped me get through my day just by being there for my kids.
Words of wisdom you’d share with a new parent:
- Be patient and kind to yourself. There is no ‘perfect’ or ‘ideal’.
*Plinkit is proud to share these parent profiles as they authentically represent the diverse voices of our Plinkit readership. The views and opinions expressed in these parent profiles are those of the authors and may not necessarily reflect those of Plinkit Pte. Ltd.
