Get flustered in the heat of the moment when your children fight? Use these three key phrases to stop sibling fighting.
Learn
Almost all siblings fight – it’s normal and we should expect it. (Research shows that young siblings fight about once every ten minutes!) Even though there are a number of great conflict resolution strategies you could try, the reality is children may not be in a problem-solving mood or want to ‘share’ a toy, ‘Le Pause’ (letting children figure out how to get out of the situation on their own) may not always work when things are becoming unsafe, or you may not have the immediate capacity or patience to work through a fight (i.e., in the car, rushing out the door, etc.).
The solution? Focus on learning three key phrases to get your children grounded immediately.
Do
3 Things to Say to Immediately Stop a Fight
- “Everybody freeze!”
- “Time out. Stop!”
- “Everybody take five deep breaths.”
- When children are in ‘fight’ mode, they’re not receptive to incoming speech. You’ll need to say something that will immediately break your children out of ‘fight’ mode.
- For example: “Everybody freeze!” or “Time out. Stop!” or “Everybody take five deep breaths.”
- The key is to get everyone grounded – recalibrated – immediately. This could be spinning around one child, or giving another child a sensory input. Without the grounding, or recalibration, the core behavior can’t be addressed.
- Then, learn our 5 steps to handle sibling fights.