Teasing, name-calling, social exclusion or any other general unkindness that specifically relates to race, gender, religion or any aspects of a child’s identity are all forms of microaggression. Empower your child to recognize microaggressions and to address them while your child is still developing their identity.
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What are Microaggressions?
Microaggressions are often small, nuanced or even unintended ways of discrimination, but make no mistake, they are hurtful and detrimental. They are underlying expressions of unfavorable opinion based on identity, and children internalize these subtle messages.
Microaggressions are a form of implicit bias, which is defined by the Kirwin Institute for the Study of Race and Ethnicity as, “attitudes or stereotypes that affect our understanding, actions, and decisions in an unconscious manner”. They are considered a form of covert racism.
Microaggressions differ from typical forms of young children ‘unkindness,’ which relate more generally to learning how to communicate (e.g., understanding the power of words, experimenting with language, navigating social dynamics, etc.) because they are rooted in identity, including race, ethnicity, religion, gender, disability and social class.
Some common types of microaggressions:
- Microassaults – Verbal/nonverbal attacks meant to hurt someone through name-calling, avoiding them, or purposefully discriminating against them (i.e., a person wearing a t-shirt with colloquial terms that alludes to another person’s ethnicity).
- Microinsults – Insensitive communications to people of color that demean their racial identity (i.e., a teacher correcting the grammar and accent of someone who speaks English as a second language).
- Microinvalidations – Negating or ignoring the thoughts, feelings, or reality of a person of color (i.e. a person asking an Asian-American student, “Where are you born?” suggesting that the child is not ‘really’ American).
Why Learning About Microaggressions is Important
It may seem intuitive but worth stating, teaching children to be conscious of microaggressions means that they can be empowered to do something about them. Words are powerful, social dynamics are influential and empathy can be taught.
Microaggressions may seem like a heavy topic for younger children, but children as young as 6 to 7-years old are able to understand the concept. Children suffer from microaggressions both as the aggressor and the victim.
Do
The Crumpled Heart Activity
It can be tricky to teach children the difference between general unkind words and those that are rooted in a person’s identity. Here’s a way to make this learning interactive by using a storybook. By using literature, this powerful activity will help a child to see and feel the impact of their words:
- Cut out a large paper heart with your child. Tell your child that you’re going to read a book together called, The Name Jar, and that you’re going to use the paper heart while reading.
- Explain to your child that as you read the book, you want them to notice whenever someone in the story says something that hurts the main character’s heart. Tell your child to crumple the paper heart each time they hear a hurtful remark. Even a young child can quickly understand the correlation between this crumpled paper heart and the pain words can inflict.
- As you read the story, talk about what the various characters say. Point out how many of these comments are related to the girl’s name, which is part of who she is – her identity.
- At the end of the story, ask your child, “How do you think the main character felt?” With your child, explore why the character may have felt this way.
- Ask your child to slowly unfold the crumpled paper heart. Point out that even though the paper heart is whole, the crumpled lines remain; we may be hurt long after the words are gone.
By openly and proactively talking to your child about the impact of their words (not just the intent of their words) and the different types of hurt, we set the groundwork for talking about more complicated forms of discrimination later on.