It’s normal to hear your child experimenting with dramatic language at around age 4 (e.g., talking back, harsh tones of voice, emotional tantrums, negative language and even profanity). Use this opportunity to help your child communicate in a more helpful way and reinforce that we are all learning something. It’s ok to make a mistake; make a better choice next time. Stop → Think → Re-Do
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Simple Activities You Could Do
- Introduce the Stop → Think → Re-Do method – Making mistakes is how we learn to make a better choice next time.
- Print this visual – Put it up in high-traffic or high anxiety zones (e.g., playroom, fridge, entry way when you’re scrambling to get out the door, etc.)
- Sing a song to make the concept stick: “Oops I made a mistake, oops I made a mistake….Stop and re-do, stop and re-do…Make a better choice next time.” (Just make up any tune to these lyrics – anything goes.)
- Brainstorm Helpful and Hurtful Words *with* your child – Ask your child where to post this list at home as a reminder. Some examples:
| Helpful Words | Hurtful Words |
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- Helpful Word Jar – Fill a jar with your brainstormed Helpful Words (write the individual words on small pieces of paper). When things get hot-headed, reach into that jar for some re-do help and inspiration.
- Re-do Jar – Each time your child thinks of a positive re-do, Plinkit a marble into a jar. When the jar is filled, celebrate! Here’s How to Make a Marble Jar.
- Brainstorm “code words” with your child that you can *both* use when you’re angry, or just want to be silly and goofy. Having a private common language between you and your child will: 1. Give them a way to express themselves (in situations where they struggle to find the words to do so); and 2. Make them feel safe to express themselves freely with you. The more unique, the better; funny words are great at defusing and deescalating heated situations (e.g., “rubber ducky!” or “jumping gummy bears!” or “blabla banana”).