The benefits of letting your child be bored and five ways to teach your child how to move through boredom. Teach your child how to be creative and resilient, and give them the tools to help themself and find things to do independently.
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Over the last few years, plenty of articles have cited the benefits of boredom. Yet with technological advances and a digital device-heavy world, the concept of ‘waiting’ and being bored has increasingly diminished. Constructive boredom is something children should experience and is essential for every child’s maturity and development. Learning how to be bored is a useful life skill. Does your child know how to be bored? Does your child’s daily schedule make space for boredom?
The Benefits of Boredom
Research shows that boredom:
- Fosters creativity.
- “Boredom is crucial for developing ‘internal stimulus,’ which then allows true creativity.” – Dr. Teresa Belton, senior researcher at the University of East Anglia’s School of Education and Lifelong Learning.
- Constant activity could actually hamper the development of a child’s imagination.
- Encourages children to explore, discover and experiment with activities they would not naturally experience under other circumstances.
- Helps children identify what truly interests them.
- Psychologists and child development experts suggest that over-scheduling children is unnecessary.
- Strengthens independence.
- Being bored teaches a child how to constructively make something happen for themself. It is what we do with that boredom that is the valuable life skill and how we respond to it.
- Research shows that the ability to move through boredom is correlated with the ability to focus and to self-regulate.
- The concept of knowing how to play independently is different from knowing how to be bored.
- Just because a child may be able to play independently, does not mean they know to move through boredom independently.
- Independent play – Simplistically, the concept of independent play means playing alone, whether a child comes up with the activity themself or whether the idea is initiated by someone else.
- Learning how to be bored – This is about a child knowing how to look inward to come up with a plan for something to do by themself, rather than having an idea served up to them. Moving through boredom may involve playing alone or it may involve persuading someone else to engage in play (i.e. “I don’t know what to do so I’ll ask my sibling/neighbor/friend to play a game with me, etc.”)
“Your role as a parent is to prepare children to take their place in society. Being an adult means occupying yourself and filling up your leisure time in a way that will make you happy. If parents spend all their time filling up their child’s spare time, then the child’s never going to learn to do this for themselves.” – Lyn Fry, child psychologist.
Do
Core Marbles
- Let your child be bored and stay bored.
- Give your child tools to enable them to help themself.
- Be consistent with your response.
- Practice being bored and structure ‘unstructured time’ daily.
- Play outside, if possible.
5 Strategies for Teaching Your Child to Move Through Boredom
- Let your child be bored and stay bored – Give your child the freedom and silence to be bored.
- When a child has little choice but to figure something out on their own, they often do. Sometimes, it may seem easier to rescue them or to offer up options when they’re whining “I’m bored”, but the payoff of giving them the physical and emotional space to sort it out independently is greater in the long run.
- Note: Whining is often associated with “I’m bored”. Sometimes, whining can also mean something else and you may need to dig deeper to find the reason for the behavior.
- Give your child tools to enable them to help themself. Empower your child to feel capable and responsible for finding something constructive to do themself.
- Have the following tools easily accessible so that your child can do them independently.
- Try our Boredom Buster Bingo to ignite creativity (forgo a long list of activities; give just enough options for one day a month).
- Ask your child to draw from a bag or jar of our Self-Directed Activity Cards.
- Try our Project-Learning Bingo for more robust activity.
- Hang up this Boredom Checklist in a high traffic area.
- Brainstorm a go-to list with your child of things they can do when they are bored, and place it in a visible area. Their buy-in from the outset can be helpful.
- If your child complains of being bored, encourage them to consult the list. (Avoid picking an activity for them.)
- Have the following tools easily accessible so that your child can do them independently.
- Be consistent with your response. Knowing how to respond in the moment is helpful.
- When a child says “I’m bored,” consider responding with, “That’s great! I’m sure you’ll think of something creative to do soon.” This reframes boredom as an opportunity instead of a problem.
- A phrase like this says to your child: “I believe you’re capable of figuring this out.”
- Otherwise, it is easy for a child’s whining to trigger a reactive response by a grown-up (especially if there is a household of toys and possibilities) and result in something like, “You could choose X, Y and Z” – which inevitably solves the problem for the child.
- Reframe the concept of boredom as an opportunity for the child (not the grown-up) to solve.
- When a child says “I’m bored,” consider responding with, “That’s great! I’m sure you’ll think of something creative to do soon.” This reframes boredom as an opportunity instead of a problem.
- Practice being bored and structure ‘unstructured time’ daily. Intentionally build time in your child’s daily routine for them to entertain themself.
- Name it something fun like ‘free play’ or ‘exploration time’.
- Play outside, if possible. Research shows that children are more inventive and self-directed when they play outdoors.