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How and when a young child interrupts can look different, but often are a result of some primary reasons. Sometimes a child may not want to be included, but they also do not want others or grown-ups to talk. Sometimes a child gets increasingly upset and demanding when a grown-up talks – hitting, yelling. Sometimes a child wants you to talk to them, and only them. Here are some common scenarios we heard from our readers.

“I’ve tried the scripts you’ve suggested and my child still interrupts. Now what?”

• Interrupting behavior, like so many other tricky behaviors, is not going to change right away. Stay calm, relay the message that your child and their ideas are important to you. The shift will come for them.
• Remember that children need repetition; they need to hear and practice things over and over to master it. Be patient with yourself and with them.

“My kid is now screaming, ‘Listen to me!’ I can’t take it and I can’t carry on my conversation. Then what do I do?”

• What you could say: “You’re really excited to talk to me. I will be able to listen when I’m done talking. Hold onto your idea – put it into a Thought Bubble!”
• Or, if you really cannot continue the conversation and it is an emergency or anomaly, take your child aside to listen to them. (i.e., a bathroom emergency, someone is hurt, etc.)
  • “I hear you really need to tell me something very important. I’m listening.”

“When should I be worried that the interruptions are a sign of something more important than attention-getting and an inability to be patient? Do constant interruptions mean anything deeper developmentally or neurologically?”

• Interruptions, even constant interruptions, are very common among young children. It is developmentally appropriate and normal for young children to interrupt (i.e., interrupting behavior does not immediately mean there is an underlying developmental or neurological issue.)
• Do not hesitate to ask your pediatrician if you continue to be concerned.

Reward charts? What to do and how to do them in the case of interruptions? What kind of rewards, how often should I give them and for what reason should I give them?

• Reward charts are not ideal for this situation. Reward charts are often abstract for young children because they may be taken out of context from the learning opportunity itself.
• Acknowledging in the moment that your child is working hard to hold onto their idea and wait for their turn is a rewarding option.
  • “Wow! You were so excited to tell me your idea, and you noticed I was talking so you waited. Thanks for doing that! Could you please share your idea now?”
• Other ideas:
  • Award your child a marble for being patient if ‘doing something that is hard’ is one of your Marble Jar behaviors.
  • Award your child a Superhero badge and write on the back, “You did something hard today. You noticed I was talking to a friend and you waited your turn. Great work!”

School vs. home: “At my child’s preschool, they teach them not to call out and to raise hands. Should we encourage that at home too?

• No. Raising hands is something specific to (some) classrooms when there is a large number of children and only one adult. There are tools that teachers use as forms of classroom management, but these tools do not need to be used at home.

School vs. home: “Why doesn’t my kid raise their hand at home if they do it at school?”

• It is a different social context. A child recognizes which rules apply at school and which ones apply at home. Raising hands is not something children see grown-ups do in normal patterns of communication or in a social group setting.

School vs. home: “Why does my child interrupt at home but not at school?”

• Your child likely understands the social norms at school and what is expected of them. They also recognize that home is a safe place to test boundaries and will often save their most challenging behavior for their trusted grown-ups.