Do

Build a Gratitude Practice

• Teach the concept of ‘enough’
  • In a world of increasing consumption, grown-ups have to make a conscious decision to counter messages of more, more, more with their children. Teaching the concept of ‘enough’ tells your child that: 1) There are limits; 2) More is not always necessary. ‘Want’ is different from ‘need’.
    • For example, if your child says a version of “I want ___,” you could gently say, “You have enough ___. We don’t need any more.”
  • By naturally inserting the word ‘enough’ into your daily conversation, you can help your child re-focus on what they have (vs. what they don’t have).
• Model gratitude
  • First, as the adult and example in your child’s life, be attuned to how grateful you are. Your child is likely picking up on your conscious or subconscious cues. Your child will look to you on how to show gratitude, whether you do it intentionally or not.
    • Make an effort to build your own gratitude practice (try this adult gratitude quiz) and practice mindfulness.
  • Regularly express gratitude and make it part of your everyday language. Show your child how to take notice of life’s details and how to express gratitude for them. Your routine expression influences the lens through which your child sees their world. For example,
    • “We’re so lucky to live in a city with so many amazing parks. I love playing in the park with you.”
    • “That water got hot so fast. We’re really lucky to have water so available. It’s not like that everywhere – remember the The Water Princess story we just read?”
    • “I’m so grateful that Tia June was able to take you to soccer practice today. It’s so nice to have friends and family who can help us when we need it.”
    • “Wow, the sky is so blue today; it’s beautiful!”
    • “I’m so thankful for being invited to a birthday dinner for my friend.”
• Create gratitude routines (make it an everyday thing – not just on holidays, birthdays, etc.)
  • Family gratitude list – Create a space where any member of the family can record what they’re grateful for, at any time. A piece of paper taped to a wall with a nearby pencil works well!
    • Keep it in a high-traffic area and make sure it’s at kid-height – on the fridge, on a whiteboard. Include little and big things – a tasty bite of food, someone smiling when they opened a door, a friend sharing a toy, etc.
    • The habit of seeing this visual prompt will serve to reinforce positive behavior.
  • Gratitude notes – Take time to write Thank You notes (and not just for presents, holidays or big life events). Writing “Thank you” is a simple and effective way of teaching your child to express gratitude – not just to feel grateful.
    • This includes “Thank You” to anyone – everyone – that makes their everyday unique. From mail couriers to grocers to teachers, remind your child that there are real people who put real effort into making the everyday happen.
  • Gratitude journal – Write it down. Encourage your child to write down one thing they’re grateful for each morning or at bedtime; it’s a nice way to either begin or end a day.
    • Early writers can give it a go with best-guess spelling, pre-writers can dictate to you so they can re-read what they’re grateful for.
• Make it habit to:
  • P-a-u-s-e and take a Mindful Minute.
  • Play outside every day and take notice of the sensory experience.
  • Practice growth mindset and appreciate the effort and satisfaction of doing hard things.
  • Develop a sense for the value of money and routinely save, give and invest using an allowance.
  • Focus on experiences and relationships (vs. ‘stuff’ and ‘things’).
  • Take initiative to actively choose learning environments for your child. From community engagements to play dates, it all counts.
  • Seize missed opportunities. Instead of suggesting to your child, “What do you say?” (when you’d like them to say, “Thank you”), figure out how your child is interpreting a given situation to help them prioritize showing appreciation.