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When your child is feeling dysregulated and their internal engine is in the red, getting them ‘back to green’ using a Just Right Space, Cozy Corner or Helper Green Basket is an effective and empowering strategy to return to calm.

How to Make a ‘Just Right Space’, ‘Cozy Corner’ or ‘Helper Green Basket’

• Create a space where your child can feel safe to be mad; where they know they can go to stew, sulk, process and reflect. Even better if you build it *with* your child to get their buy-in. It can be a warm, dimly lit nook or a basket filled with soothing sensory tools. You’ll know what’s best for your child, but some tried and tested ideas are in our Learning Tools.
• Encourage your child to visit their corner / basket when the moment fits.
  • Your child is more likely to use their corner / basket if they’re invested in it. Create it with your child when they’re in a focused and productive mood.
    • Perhaps they can choose the location of the nook? Size of the basket? Or decorate an old cardboard box?
  • Have a few conversations about what helps your child. For example, “When you were upset last night, what would have helped you to feel comfortable and calm?” Let them choose a few items for their corner / basket.

Helpful Tips

• When your child is in the red, they are not accessing their highest thinking skills. The brain is flooded with stress and is reacting in fight, flight and/or fright modes. Minimize language, use a calm steady tone of voice, and let your actions guide your child through the upset. For example:
  • “You are in the red. Here is your Helper Green Basket. Let’s get calm together.”
  • “You sound so mad! Here is your squeezy ball. This will help you.”
  • “Looks like you’re not happy and ready to play. Let’s sit in the Cozy Corner to feel comfortable and calm.”
• Process emotions and reactions AFTER the upset when your child is ready to hear, reflect and learn from their experience. For example:
  • “You were so upset on the playground today. You got so mad that you could not see or hear me. I’m glad the squeezy ball helped you feel better. Next time we have to get ready to leave, what choices could we make that will make it easy for you and me?”
  • “It was hard for you today when your sister took your favorite doll. You were uncomfortable when you called her a name. I know that listening to music helps you get ready to tell her what you like and don’t like, and what you need. Let’s put music in your Helper Green Basket.”
• Take your time. The corner / basket is just one tool you can use to help your child develop self-regulation and emotional awareness. It may work for a while and then your child may go through a period of resistance. If your child becomes resistant, don’t force it – just always have the basket close by for when they’re ready.
  • Consider teaching your child independent calming strategies as a preventative technique to head off a meltdown.
• Use it yourself! Model, model, model. If you are ever feeling out of sorts, find your calm in the corner / basket. Stress, frustration or anger – you name it. If you use the space for calm and comfort, your child will also. As your child watches you self-regulate, they’ll learn how to understand and control their emotions.