We can’t end sibling fighting nor force our children to get along, but we can help them recall happy moments with each other and help encourage gratitude for their siblings.
Learn
Just Remember
- Siblings fight. It’s pretty much guaranteed to happen and while it’s not pleasant, if parents can shift the focus to proactively fostering a positive sibling relationship, it can make the squabbles a bit more bearable.
Do
How to Make a Sibling Love Jar
- What is it? At its most basic, a Sibling Love Jar is a place to capture the kind and loving acts and words your children share with each other.
- Select a clear jar, and label it “Sibling Love Jar” or any terminology you prefer, using fun washi tape.
- Cut a variety of colored paper into strips 1 – 2 inches wide x 8 inches long. Keep these strips near the jar along with a writing utensil. Or you could use / cut sentence strips.
- How do I use it?
- Explain to your kids that their job is to remember and write down (or ask you to write for them) kind and loving things their siblings do or say.
- If your kids are into the “detective” and/or “spy” themes, create excitement about them becoming “kindness detectives (or spies)”, carrying out missions to find and document kindness.
- Tell your kids that you will also be looking out for this kind of behavior and recording it on slips.
- Examples:
- “Jasper was really kind; he helped me find my missing shoe.”
- “Sasha was flexible when she told me I could play with the ball first.”
- “When I was thirsty, Ravi helped me get a glass of water.”
- “I felt happy when Pax told me I was the best brother. Thumbs up – it made me feel good.”
- Explain to your kids that their job is to remember and write down (or ask you to write for them) kind and loving things their siblings do or say.
- Awesome. Now what do I do with the jar full of slips? There are several ways you can use the jar:
- Incorporate it into your kids’ bedtime routine. Have each child choose one or more slips and read them out loud at bedtime. Hearing the positive comments is a sweet way to end the day, for the child who experienced the kindness and for the sibling who demonstrated it.
- Incorporate this into dinner, and have extended conversations centered on the memory.
- Start a family meeting with the reading of a few slips to help get things off on a positive note.
- There’s more!
- While there’s no need to do anything more, some families may choose to celebrate when the last slip of the bunch is used. Perhaps the kids choose an outing or activity, or maybe you plan a surprise when you notice slips running low.
- If you choose to do this, be strategic about how many slips you cut at a given time based on when you think the celebration should happen and how your kids generally interact.
Glass jar – Lots of options, but a clear jar will show the colorful slips as it fills Washi tape – To make a fun label Colored paper – Kids can help choose Sentence strips – Makes life simpler Writing utensil – Whatever works for your family
Materials Needed